*** All names except for my own have been changed for privacy reasons***

How did I end up here? Locked in this cell, all alone at 2:30 am with nothing but the clothes on my back and a concrete slate to sleep on. I hear my friends yelling my name in the distance. It all feels like a dream but I know I can’t wake up. I know this is not a dream, this is a living nightmare.

Growing up generally speaking I was a “good kid”. I had my moments of temper tantrums and arguments with my parents but nothing major. While in high school I had only received one detention. I was bullied a lot at my first high school leading me to transfer at the beginning of my junior year. Over the years I struggled with socializing and maintaining friendships due to anxiety. After graduating high school I started college at Framingham State University and quickly realized that was not the place for me. I left after my first semester.

Returning home was for lack of a better word, weird. I felt like an outsider in my own house. I felt like I didn’t even know my family anymore and they definitely didn’t know me. I also struggled to find friends, the remote few I did have were all away at college. Except Toni.

I went to high school with Toni and we hung out a couple of times the summer before I went away to college. Toni had curly light brown afro-like hair, his arms were covered up and down with tattoos most of which he gotten while in prison. Toni had been in prison for five months right after turning 18 in 2015. We started hanging out once a week, then a couple times a week then eventually everyday. Toni’s girlfriend’s name was Britney and over time her and I had gotten pretty close. Britney was hardly 5 feet tall with mid-length stringy brown/black hair. Toni and Britney both loved drinking, smoking and partying. Me on the other hand hardly ever drank and would only like to go to the occasional party. It had gotten to the point where I had let them drink in my car, only if it was clear alcohol in water bottles. And yes I know that is illegal but they were the first “real friends” I had ever had and I didn’t really think about the consequences. Thomas was the type of friend that would hang out occasionally with Toni, Britney and I. He was a little bit taller that I am ( I am 5’8) he had dark long straight hair and looked like your typical skater boy.

After months of hanging out on a daily basis, it was June 7, 2016. I was driving with Toni and Britney in the backseat of my minivan and Thomas was sitting next to me in the front seat. They were all drinking some clear alcohol out of their water bottles. I was completely sober. I was considered the “Mom” of the group. I would always be the one to make sure everyone was okay and happy. I remember being very tired that night from working earlier that day and it was already 11:30pm so I went down a this street with a playground at the end to park the car and take a nap while my friends just hung out drunk. This was a common stop that we went to when we did not want to go home, we usually parked there overnight and slept in my car. By this time all the alcohol was gone and we had thrown the water bottles out the window. After parking I reclined my chair and fell asleep I woke up around 12:15 am to hear Toni and Britney yelling outside the car. When I say yelling it was more like screaming at the top of their lungs. I didn’t know this at the time but it was about who loved who more. I then looked over to my right and Thomas had his entire body hanging out of my passenger side door covered in his own vomit.

Immediately annoyed I got out of my car and try to get Toni and Britney back in the car. After several failed attempts they get into the car 20 minutes later. At this point all I can think about is how amazing my bed would be so I start my car and start pulling down the street to bring them home. That’s when the bright blue lights come on in front of me. All I can remember thinking is “Oh Shit” I roll down my window and tell everyone to remain calm as I greet the officer. That’s the moment I realize there are a half a dozen cruisers and this is not going to end well. The officer asked me what was going on so I explained the sceniero. Quickly followed by saying that I was about to bring them home and he could follow me if the would like to make sure. Apperently he did not like my suggestion and said he would arrest me if I did not stop talking. Obviously terrified I said,“okay” then was startled when my car down was opened and I was put into handcuffs by a man twice my size. I was in complete shock all I could say over and over was “ All I said was okay! All I said was okay!!” There is no feeling comparable to having your hands tied behind your back and sitting in a police cruiser, definitely not something I had ever thought was going to happen to me. From that point on I was in bitch mode, I was angrier than I had ever been. Angry because of what my friends had caused and angry because all I had said was okay. I started commenting on the officers driving skills. Making note that he made an illegal merge and was going over the speed limit. We finally got back to the station and somehow Toni and Thomas were already sitting in the holding room. The officer brought me into a separate room from them where I could see them, but I could not hear them and they could not hear me. It was a big cell with with a bench lining the walls. I started pacing back and forth and all I could say was “ My mom is going to kill me! My mom is going to kill me!!” I was in this room for what seemed like eternity.

Finally they bring me into the room Toni and Thomas are in to take my mugshot. Honestly I have never seen a more unattractive picture of myself in my life. They sit me down next to Thomas and Toni and on the other side of Thomas. They ask me all the basic questions like age, address etc. I remember asking where Britney was, they told me that she was not arrested and was just escorted home, I was livid. She was the main reason the police were called, considering she started the argument with Toni. By this time Toni was pacing back and forth the officers kept telling him to sit down. Toni was not listening and started screaming “F**k the Police.” I had never seen Toni is defiant and out right rude it’s like he didn’t care that he had just gotten arrested or that he got his friends arrested. They ended up taking Toni out of the room and right as he was leaving Thomas leaned over and vomited all over an officer’s shoes. I couldnt help but laugh, the officers on the other hand did not find it very funny. They brought me into a small holding cell with a concrete bed and a phone. They told me to call whoever I wanted to bail me out. After several attempts of trying to use the phone all I heard was a dial tone, by this point it was roughly 2:30 am. I told the officers this and they said they would try to contact my mom. For the next 30 minutes all I heard was Toni screaming my name over and over again. I was very confused on why he was saying my name but I got so annoyed with it I ended up yelling telling him to shut up. The yelling stopped. I laid in the bed and somehow managed to fall asleep even though it was terribly uncomfortable. I get woken up around 5:30 am to them saying my mom had just paid my bail and I was free to go but had to be at the courthouse at 8:30am that same day. When I got into the car my mom did not say one word to me, she wouldn’t even look at me.

I had never been inside any courthouse before let alone in-front of a judge. Fortunately the district attorney cut me a deal because I was 19 and had no record; not even a ticket. She told me that
as long as I completed 24 hours of community service I would remain to have no record. I had until August 8th to get the 24 hours done. Let me tell you, if you do not get your community service done on time YOU WILL HAVE A WARRANT OUT FOR YOUR ARREST. I ended up having to go back to court because I had done just that. They gave me an extension until October 28th. I ended up getting all of it done and went back to court for them to tell me I was 100% a free woman with no record. I was the happiest person on the planet that day walking out of the courtroom.

As for Toni and Thomas, Toni was put in jail until November 2016 then immediately transferred to a rehab for alcoholics. He is still there until this day and I have no contact with him. Thomas was put on probation and has to get drug and alcohol tested every two weeks. I have not talked to him since late August after he stole $50 from me. Britney and I have lost all contact since this incident.

Coming out of this experience I realized that I have to pick and chose carefully who I am friends with. I would rather keep to myself and out of trouble than have the wrong friends that get me in trouble. Although I am writing this only eight months after this situation occurred, I am a completely different person. I used to have no motivation, was on the verge of being fired from my job for coming in late every shift, and my relationship with my family was virtually nonexistent. I had no hopes, no dreams and was 100% against going back to school. Today I am in my first semester of college with the dream of helping adolescents with mental health issues. I have been consistently early to work since August and now have a great relationship with my family. A lot of people would look at this event and be ashamed of what happened. I am not proud of what happened, but I am glad it did because I would not be the person I am today if it had not happened.